One more post

I am so torn at the moment. Here is some background on my plight, lol:

I was in school for 3 semesters before we had Peyton. I was taking 3 courses for 2 semesters and one in the summer that felt like 3 courses since it was jammed into one month. It was great and I enjoy being in school even with the stress. Still it took ALOT of time away from my kids. I felt bad about that.

So I have been planning on starting again in August when Peyton is 6 mos old. So obviously August is getting pretty close. THe closer it gets the more nervous I am about starting again.

Now I want to get my teaching degree with every fiber in my bones and I will. I had planned on going to Ottawa College where I have enough credits to get into the teaching program. I could take one course at a time and be ready to student teach by the time our last child starts kindergarten.

Now I don't want to start student teaching before our last child starts school since I believe in being a stay-at-home mom and I don't want to jip any of my kids of that if I can help it. So I can obviously go to night school and go slow.

My worry is that now that I have 3 kids I don't want it to take up too much time from any of them. If I could find a balance I will be happy to do it. Anyone that knows me well knows that sometimes I tend to take on more than I can chew and then get stressed out big time. So I worry about finding balance.

Still part of me just loves learning and having something for myself-That is the best part of school! I am so torn on what to do. I know there are benefits and drawbacks on both ends.

Mike thinks I should atleast wait until we have our last child just incase I have to stop while I am pregnant. Still at the same time he knows how bad I want to work again when all our kids are in school.

We decided to fast and pray on sunday about it. I am leaning towards waiting a little longer to go back, but I want to make sure that is the best decision for me and my family.

Sorry I am rambling and if this didn't make any sense sorry. It is late, and I just had to get it out of my head to think it thru some more.