Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I have been in a slump

I am gonna try to get out of it though. I haven't been good or true to myself in a lot of ways. It is just easier not to do anything sometimes, but it sure doesn't feel as good. Know what I mean? I have gained 20 lbsm, and I can't get back on track. I can think of a million things that keeps me from doing it, the key I guess is to just push those things out and just do it like I did before. I can't fit into any of my jeans, so I am just wearing gouchos, skirts and sweats..pretty much anything without buttons :(. I sold all my close from this size. So if I gain anymore weight I will have to be naked. That should be motivation, right? I have just let the stress get to me and so I eat. I need to get back into doing other thnings like clean or bead when I am stressed.

I am very happy that I will hardly be babysitting at all this summer..just like 2 hours a day, during naptime..so hard huh? lol. One of my friends is going to be doing a stirytime play group every monday. They will have playtime, a craft, storytime and snack time. It will take the place of the family fun van since they can't do it during the summer due to the heat. Then on Wed they have storytime at the library, the evenings will be for swimming lessons for the kids and I want to go play at the mall park once a week and swim once a week. I want to keep busy and have a blast with my kids this summer.

Dawson will be starting kindergarten August 8th, and it is all day (8:30-2:50) so my window with him is almost closed. I thought it was with preschoool, but that was only 3 days a week for 3.5 hours. This is all day. It makes me sad. He had his preschool graduation yesterday. We videotaped and filmed it. They played the graduation music, and they walked up and got their "diploma. They had little paper crowns that they had their names on and decorated. It was really cute.

His teacher's all said how much they are going to miss him. One of the aides said that he was the sweetest, most well behaved kid of all of them! I love hearing that. His speech teacher commented on how far he has come. I am so happy with the work they did. I was really the only one who understood him when he started and he would hardly talk or look at other people before. Now everyone can understand him and he is social! The letter F is the only one he still has trouble with. I am a pleased and proud momma! I can't believe he will be 5 in August!

He will actually start Kindergarten 5 days before he turns 5. I have had a few people say that their kids weren't ready to start kindergarten right when they turned 5. Their kids got held back. I feel very good in my decision. His teacher and speech teacher are very confident that he is ready for kindergarten. Plus he will be going to a really awesome charter school. He has been on the waiting list since he was Emm's age. They have a back to basics philosophy. They have the spalding phonetics program, which is the best for teaching phonics and reading. They have art, music, spanish, etc. The coolest thing is that they have different levels of each grade. It gets around the "No one is left behind" law. So in each grade he will be at his level. It is a great school that I hear nothing but good things about.

Emmalee is a full fledge kid now! It is crazy how fast time goes by. SHe can say just about anything. It is weird, when you call her name she will say "What?" if yo say no she will ask "Why". She comprehends so much at 2. He talking is awesome. She doesn't have the speech problem Dawson had. She loves dress up. She wears her "Cinderella Pretties" all day.

I just love my kids so much! I am a blessed Mommy! I am excited to have time with them this summer!

I am making a vow this summer to have fun with my kids, lose weight, get my house organized and get more social. My best friend is mving to North Carolina next week. I am gonna bawl like a baby when she leaves. I know I need to get out of my comfort zone and get involved more with my other friends. I used to have the easiest time making friends. DOn't get me wrong I have a lot of friends, but I really don't hang out with anyone. I am afraid to try for anothe rbest friend cuz it takes a lot of time and work and I just get afraid it won't happen so I don't try. I need to get out of my comfort zone I guess. I do wanna be social like I used to be.

We have been TTC since March and Nada. I know it really isn't that much time, but for me it is. I got preggo with Dawson the first month and Emm came from a few missed BCP's. So this is a long time to me. I am okay with it, except that I am afraid I am gonna get too comfortable with my two that i won't want more if it takes too long. I might just be keeping my hopes down so I don't get disapointed. Who kows. All I can say is that it gives me more time with my two kiddos though. Maybe it isn't the right time. I am just putting it in God's hands and when it is time it will happen.

Go Phoenix Suns! They are doing awesome! I wanna see them go all the way! I think watching a good basketball game is one of my fave things to do with my hubby. We have a blast!

Sorry for all the rambling, I am just getting my thoughts out.

My Weight Loss