Friday, June 13, 2008

I have to Thank Heidi Cosseboom for this Behavior System for my kids!

Heidi thank you. Heidi is a dear friend and former college roomate. I was reading her blog the other day and was so impressed with the system she set up for her kids. She got it from someone else, and it turns out to be a girl I knew in highschool. Anyways it is a system that encourages children to help out and have a good attitude.

I know I have talked with Heidi and others about how I used to think that I was a patient person..until I had kids. I love my kids and I am so grateful for them, but I have always had cycles where I feel that no matter what I have no control over them. I also didn't know how strong free agency was until I had kids!

I have felt like the kids take for granted all that Mike and I do for them. They demanded things and argued if we said no. When it comes time for them to help with things they whine, or complain, etc. Then ofcourse our patience grows super thin. I have been so sick about this.

Plus I have always (as all of you know!) been one to stress over a dirty house. I cannot think straight if my hosue is super messy. I don't mean a little clutter, I mean a tornado zone (which my hosue becomes alot).

I was never caught up on any job in the house and I felt over worked, etc. I was usually cranky by the end of the day and I hate to admit it but I have yelled at my kids when they resist doing what I would like them to. Not something I am proud of at all. I actually have felt so guilty about it. I also felt guilty because the house was always a mess, I was always cleaning and didn't always have time or energy to have 1 on 1 time with my kids everyday. I was tired of it. The kids would help but it was like pulling teeth. So when I saw this I felt like it could put peace in our home.

The first thing I did was make a chore chart that included:

6 chores that they will alternate each week (they each will be responsible for 3 each week)


Floors: help with the sweeping, mopping and vacuuming.

Dishes: help me load/unload dishwasher and rinse the handwashables.

Chef's Helper: help me cook dinner, set table, and help tidy up after dinner

Bathroom: Help me clean the bathroom and keep it tidy

Dust: obvious, lol

Feeding the Cats: enough said

Then there are responsibilities of their own that they will always have:


Laundry: they each are expected to help out with all the laundry and fold and put away their own clothes, plsu help me with Peyton's clothes. They LOVED sorting the clothes and putting the soap in and turning the machine on.

Make Bed

Clean Room

Pick up Toys

Brush Teeth

Bathe

Wash face

Pray

Homework (for Dawson during the school year and I will find somehting for Emm so she can have "homework" too).

Read: For every 15 minutes Dawson reads he gets 1 token. Emmalee can get one if she can stay and listen to a whole story.

Then if Mike or I see them do something nice for someone or do something witout asking we can reward them with an extra token.

Each chore will have tokens according to the difficulty of the job. Examples are, dishes or laundry will be 5 tokens, while brushing teeth or bathing will be 1 token and so forth.

I am also starting with Peyton now so it will be normal when he is old enough to understand. He will get a token for picking his toys up, and as he gets older we will add more.

Then they can turn in the tokens for a reward. Dawson can pay 3 tokens for 1/2 hour on the PC or to play the wii or playstation2. Emmalee can pay 3 tokens to play on the PC or play dress up.

They can pay 3 tokens for 1/2 hour of TV or 5 tokens each for a movie.

or they can use them to get ice cream or a happy meal, or redeem them for a prize from the treasure box. I have candy, nail polish, cars, water guns, those $1 looney toons dvd's from walmart, gum, stickers, bubbles, water balloons and $1 bills. I thought they could choose money and save it for a bigger toy at the store. and so on. Each prize is price between 1 to 50 tokens. Chuck e cheese is 50 tokens each, 3 tootsie rolls is 1 token, etc. So they can learn to save and wait.

Okay we are on day one but I did not hear one complaint about doing chores. (That was the other thing, if they complain about doing something then no tokens. I will never take tokens away, they will just lose the privilidge of earning more for complaining and possibly do an extra chore for "draining my energy" if the are extra naughty over something like tantrum or being mean to a sibling). The kids have been so helpful and behaved better. I like ti to because I have extra time with them since I am doing some of the chores with them.

This morning they got up had breakfast did their morning chores, got their tokens and then we went to a splash park with some other moms and kids from my church. They came home, rested and then helped with the laundry, played and then helped with dinner and picking up toys, etc, then played till bed time. I know if Mike and I are consistent thsi is really gonna help us!

Here is the chore chart I made. I used velcro so the chores can be switched around and they can take them off and put them in their envelope when they are done!

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



Here is the token jar and the kid's jars. Peyton's isn't there because the shelf is weak. I need to buy a new shelf soon!


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We are going to make a posterboard of the family rules tomorrow too.

Anyways thanks again Heidi. It is an awesome idea!

6 comments:

Cossebooms said...

Don't thank me, thank Amy. I just copied her idea and told many people about it. Everyone that I have mentioned it to love the idea. Amy was inspired to do this system and kind enough to share it with others. The main thing for me is to stick with it and keep it going. You were so fast at getting yours up and running, good for you! I hope it works out for you and your family. I think we would all love a little more peace in our homes.

Tiff Hunt said...

That sounds like a great Idea! I am going to have to use it too! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

OOOH....finally an idea I can steal!

Anonymous said...

OOOH....finally an idea I can steal!

Amanda said...

My mom used that system on us for a while--and I think it worked. (It seemed like we got a new system once a year or so.) I hope it continues to work well for you!

Teanne said...

I love this idea! that is awesome! It sounds like a great plan to not only get some help with keeping the house up, but you're helping your kids learn responsibility and making it fun too! That is so cool.
I'm wondering if that would work for Will. I think my kids might be a bit young for it right now. But I definetely want to do that someday w/ my 3 kids.


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