Socializing

I was sort of a hermit for a looong time. I think a lot of it had to do with my weight. Lately I have been really working on getting myself out there more. For about 2 years I had a hard time adjusting in my ward (church). I knew people, but I never really put myself out there. I have been going to activities, etc lately. It has made me so much happier.

Most of my friends live over 20 miles or more away so we don't get together that often. So like I said before, I was a bit of a hermit. I would just take the kids out myself no friends etc. Since I have been getting out I am making so many new friends in my ward and having fun things to do a few times a week. I am happier and Emmalee is happier since she can stay at the park longer now and she plays with kids her age.

I notice the things that stressed me at home (chores, etc) don't stress me out as much now because I am not home as much to let them get to me. Plus I manage my time better now and find chores aren't so overwhelming anymore.

It really feels great. I feel like my old social self again. It is so important to keep sight of yourself when you are a mommy. Mike also commented that I am happier and seem more like my old self again.


On to other things..........................

Dawson is almost done with kindergarten. I swear I'm gonna cry when he graduates kindergarten. He is doing so well. He can read whole books if the words aren't too big. He can also add, subtract, count by 5's and 10's, tell time on an old fashioned clock and so many other things. It is the coolest thing to see your child learn and see how smart and capable they are. I am so proud of him!

Emmalee is getting a bit nicer again. She is starting to kiss Peyton and help me more. I was at Weight Watcher's the other day and I was filling something out. I had started to feed Peyton but had to stop. He got fussy and I looked down and Emmalee was feeding him! She is a big helper and I love her so much.

Peyton is babbling, almost rolling over and smiling up a storm. I just love this baby to death! He is so fun and I cannot remember life without him now.

Oh yeah this weight loss thing.....

Um it has been a bit harder this time. I haven't gained, but this last week has been so hard. I am trying to pray more when I have a hard time resisting something. It is hard but oit makes me make a conscious effort to think about what I am gonna put in my mouth and how it will affect me.

I decided that this weekend everything was out the window. I started over this morning and it has been pretty easy. I am walking with from my church in monday and wednsdays. It has been a great outlet and I look forward to getting out so it hasn't felt like exercise. I just need to add 2 days at home. I am gonna get my walk away the pounds dvd's out and start doing those. Emmalee loves doing them too. I carry my weights and she gets 2 soup cans as her weights and does it w/ me, lol. If anything I can think of it as Mom and Emm time and not focus on it being exercise. That seems to make it less appealing to me, lol.

My goal this week is to write everything down, drink more water and exercise on my own 2x a week. Here's to reaching my goals.

Finding humor in things....................

I used to think that I was the most patient person in theworld. When I babysat as a teenager, I thought I was gonna be the best mom in the world. I was attentive to the kids needs and never lost my cool. My friends commented that they liked how I could laugh at my mistakes, etc. Then I became a mom and that was a whole new ball game.

When Dawson was first born, life was pretty easy. Having one kid meant that I still had free hands sometimes, I could nap when he napped and he was a baby and could do no wrong. I fed him perfectly, dressed him perfectly, etc. I had heard people comment on how hard it was to be a stay at home mom and how they never had time to do everything. I just didn't see it....yet. lol

When Emmalee came I understood what those other moms were saying. It wasn't because Emmalee was a super hard baby or Dawson was too demanding. They actually adjusted beautifully to the transition.

I on the other hand didn't have a free hand, my kids weren't always dressed perfectly (unless we were going out). My house and chores started to feel like an enemy that was building up against me. I caught myself thinking a cookie here or there isn;t so bad or *the old me shuddered at this* Dawson can have a bit of soda if it will keep him happy.

Then there was the aspect of myself. I had gained ALOT of weight. I wasn't able to do my hair makeup or shower everyday. I was so preoccupied with everything else that I had lost site of my self and why I was doing this thing called motherhood. I had a rough time for a bit.

Juggling all of the motherhood balls got harder. Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a mom, but it isn't easy. I felt like I might have to get another hand or juggle them with my feet. The patience I had mentioned having as a teenager had decided to up and run away. I had no idea where she went.

Now I have struggled on and off with having some patience back and feeling caught up on the house or what not. I realized that I was letting everything get to me and I was wound up way too tight. Through the years I have found ways to adjust.

One thing I have learned is that I have to have time for myself and something to look forward to everyday. Somedays that is shopping or getting out alone and somedays it is just to get a shower early in the morning or get dressed and do my makeup even if I am not going out. Those things have helped alot. Still my patience wasn't quite where I wanted it to be.

I was talking to my best friend a while ago and we got on the subject of how motherhood is harder than we thought it would be. She said they had talked about that in relief society. Her Relief Society President commented that she learned never pray for patience. She said you will get the hardest trials of your life that way. Instead she said to learn to find humor in things, even when your kids are driving you nuts. Look for the small things that make you happy. That is my new goal. I want to be a calmer mommy and I think this is a good thing to master. I think (and hope) life can be a lot easier if you look at the world that way!