Chritmas time!
9 years ago
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Inches lost in March 2005!
Wow I lost alot this month!
Here are Feb's measurements:
My measurments on February 16th 2005:
Waist: 44” (lost 3") 15" to go
Chest: 46.5” (lost 3.5") 8.5" to go
Hips: 52” (lost 2 Inches) 14" to go
Arms: 15” (lost 0") 2" to go
Thighs: 27” (lost 2") 5" to go
Here are today's!
Waist: 38" (6 inches lost in 6 weeks. I had to measure it 3 times before I believed it)
Chest: 42" (4.5" lost)
Hips: 49" (3" lost)
THighs: 26 and 3/4" (1/4"lost)
Arms" 14" (1 inch lost!)
Total lost this 6 weeks: 8 and 3/4 " lost!
Total lost since Jan: about 19"!
Total left to lose: 35 left to lose!!
Here are Feb's measurements:
My measurments on February 16th 2005:
Waist: 44” (lost 3") 15" to go
Chest: 46.5” (lost 3.5") 8.5" to go
Hips: 52” (lost 2 Inches) 14" to go
Arms: 15” (lost 0") 2" to go
Thighs: 27” (lost 2") 5" to go
Here are today's!
Waist: 38" (6 inches lost in 6 weeks. I had to measure it 3 times before I believed it)
Chest: 42" (4.5" lost)
Hips: 49" (3" lost)
THighs: 26 and 3/4" (1/4"lost)
Arms" 14" (1 inch lost!)
Total lost this 6 weeks: 8 and 3/4 " lost!
Total lost since Jan: about 19"!
Total left to lose: 35 left to lose!!
WE had such a nice night last night. Yesterday was our "eat Out" night. We have 2 of those a month. WE went to a nice little mexican restaraunt called Top Shelf. A in my weight watcher's class suggested it. They had a light menu. It was really good. I only ate 3 tortilla chips (It was so hard to control myself but I did it!). I left feeling satisfied but not bloated or super full. I was proud of myself! Then we wewnt to golfland. It was Dawson's first time goofy golfing. It was so cute seeing him golf. It was so much fun. We just don't get out enough as a family. We have decided that we need to do stuff like that more. We had coupons for the restaraunt and golfland so it was super cheap..Thank You Entertainment book! They also have a kids playland at golfland now. We let Dawson play in it for about 20 minutes. Mike went in and played with him. There was only like 1 other kid in there, so I let Emm play around the entrance of the gym. She liked climbing up the gym mats! We got a lot of cute pictures of it. If I can ever figure out how to post pics I will add them. Actually I think I figured it out. We'll see.. Then we went to Cold Stone creamery I was able to get a nice sized ice cream w/ candy and a waffle cone for 10 points! I had to use flex points, but that's what they are for! It was a lot of fun! I really like doing family outings.
Babysitting is going better. The little I watch is getting easier. I was gonna start watching 2 more kids, a brother (2.5 yrs) and a sister (16 mos) from 7 am to like 6 pm. I was feeling iffy about it. Mike could tell I was tense thursday night and I ended up crying and telling him that I just didn't think I could take on 2 more kids. He said if I feel iffy don't do it. So I have to call her (I wouldn't be starting for a few more weeks) and tell her no. I feel bad, but I just can't do it. Their dad just left them and she admitted that they are very hard to handle and fussy because of that. I just can't do it. I feel like my 2 kids and the little I am watching are alreday almost enough. I could handle one more kid, but that is it. So I am going to put some new ads up and hope to find one easy full time kiddo. I am so relieved that Mike understandfs. I just didn't want to become a basket case and cry all the time like I did last time I babysat 2 years ago. I was watching 3 kidsplus my own son and it was hard. One more kid and that's it. Mike can quit his 2nd job then and we both will be happy!
I am going to try to post our pics from last night now. I was looking at them and I was shocked. MIke took a pic of me. He said that we need pics of all my stages of weight loss. I really have lost a lot of weight! 27 lbs so far!!!!
The men in my life, Mike and Dawson golfing:
Emmy our audience!
Dawson has learned to cheat just like Mommy! I am so proud! He drags the ball to the hole..lol.
All done with our fun filled night of golfing!
Here is a pic of me golfing weight 211:
Now here is a pic before I started losing weight. Dec 2004, Weight about 238-240 (yikes!):
Babysitting is going better. The little I watch is getting easier. I was gonna start watching 2 more kids, a brother (2.5 yrs) and a sister (16 mos) from 7 am to like 6 pm. I was feeling iffy about it. Mike could tell I was tense thursday night and I ended up crying and telling him that I just didn't think I could take on 2 more kids. He said if I feel iffy don't do it. So I have to call her (I wouldn't be starting for a few more weeks) and tell her no. I feel bad, but I just can't do it. Their dad just left them and she admitted that they are very hard to handle and fussy because of that. I just can't do it. I feel like my 2 kids and the little I am watching are alreday almost enough. I could handle one more kid, but that is it. So I am going to put some new ads up and hope to find one easy full time kiddo. I am so relieved that Mike understandfs. I just didn't want to become a basket case and cry all the time like I did last time I babysat 2 years ago. I was watching 3 kidsplus my own son and it was hard. One more kid and that's it. Mike can quit his 2nd job then and we both will be happy!
I am going to try to post our pics from last night now. I was looking at them and I was shocked. MIke took a pic of me. He said that we need pics of all my stages of weight loss. I really have lost a lot of weight! 27 lbs so far!!!!
The men in my life, Mike and Dawson golfing:
Emmy our audience!
Dawson has learned to cheat just like Mommy! I am so proud! He drags the ball to the hole..lol.
All done with our fun filled night of golfing!
Here is a pic of me golfing weight 211:
Now here is a pic before I started losing weight. Dec 2004, Weight about 238-240 (yikes!):
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
The Math....
I went in for my Weight Watcher's weigh in today I am down 2 more pounds! I am down to 221 lbs. That is 4 lbs from prepreggo w/ Emm weight, 5.5 lbs to my 10% goal and 76 lbs to go. I have lost 17.6 lbs in 6 weeks. That averages out to about 3 lbs (it is rounded up a little ;). So if I keep an average of 3 lbs a week, then by Labor Day (we have a campout/family reunion w/ Mike's family labor day every year) I should be either somewhere around 170-145 (or less! I might go beyond my goal weight when I hit it, I'll decide then!). That is only 6 months away! I have been playing with the numbers and it is exciting. Ofcourse I know that I might hit a few plateaus, but I know I will for sure be below 200 lbs by then. I want to go hiking and just do the things I used to enjoy while camping (before I had all this extra weight on me). I am so excited about this. I will feel like myself again. I am so glad that I finally said enough is enough.
I have been takingthe kids for walks atleast every other day. I haven't felt up to that in ages. Not just because of my weight, but my mood. I am feeling better in some aspects :).
I know the weight alone won't make me feel better. I am also trying to better myself. I am trying to be a better mommy and a better friend. I am having a hard time in one aspect with losing weight. I don't eat as much as I used to for emotional reasons. So now I have to face some of my problems and things I don't like about myself. It has been hard.
Well, until next time..buh-bye!
I have been takingthe kids for walks atleast every other day. I haven't felt up to that in ages. Not just because of my weight, but my mood. I am feeling better in some aspects :).
I know the weight alone won't make me feel better. I am also trying to better myself. I am trying to be a better mommy and a better friend. I am having a hard time in one aspect with losing weight. I don't eat as much as I used to for emotional reasons. So now I have to face some of my problems and things I don't like about myself. It has been hard.
Well, until next time..buh-bye!
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
My current Stats!
My Begining Weight: 238.6 lbs
My current Weight: 223.2
Total Lost: 15.4 lbs
Total left to lose: 78lbs
My current Goal: to hit my 10% weight of 215.6, 7.8 lbs to go!
My measurements on Jan 12th 2005:
Waist: 47”
Chest: 50”
Hips: 54”
Arms: 15”
Thighs: 29”
My measurments on February 16th 2005:
Waist: 44” (lost 3") 15" to go
Chest: 46.5” (lost 3.5") 8.5" to go
Hips: 52” (lost 2 Inches) 14" to go
Arms: 15” (lost 0") 2" to go
Thighs: 27” (lost 2") 5" to go
Total Lost: 10.5"
Total left to lose: 44.5"
My current Weight: 223.2
Total Lost: 15.4 lbs
Total left to lose: 78lbs
My current Goal: to hit my 10% weight of 215.6, 7.8 lbs to go!
My measurements on Jan 12th 2005:
Waist: 47”
Chest: 50”
Hips: 54”
Arms: 15”
Thighs: 29”
My measurments on February 16th 2005:
Waist: 44” (lost 3") 15" to go
Chest: 46.5” (lost 3.5") 8.5" to go
Hips: 52” (lost 2 Inches) 14" to go
Arms: 15” (lost 0") 2" to go
Thighs: 27” (lost 2") 5" to go
Total Lost: 10.5"
Total left to lose: 44.5"
Week 5 weigh in:
I lost 4.6 more lbs. My grand total for 5 weeks is 15 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not too shabby! I am feeling a lot better. I have more energy and I am happier because I feel in control!
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
The Schedule Day 1......
It is almost 1 pm here. We have gone by the schedule all day. So far so good! I cut my computer time down. I have almost all my daily chores done, except my flylady missions for the last 3 days..lol. I will do those when I get back from my Weight Watcher's meeting tonight. I have spent more time with Dawson today..it has been nice. I usually eat lunch standing up and grabbing a little here and there or infront of the TV. Today I sat at the table and ate with Dawson, it was really nice. We talked and laughed!!! WE did preschool too. I had a lesson on body parts and how they help us to see, hear, run and play. WE did some songs about the subject, then I put one of my walk away the pounds tapes on and had him do some of the workout with me so he can notice how his joints bend, etc. Then we cut out parts of faces from magazines and made a person collage. It was really fun and he loved it. He and Emmalee are in her room playing right now. Soon we will do story time and then it is nap time for Emmalee & quiet time for Dawson. Then I can fold clothes and make a few bracelets. I haven't felt like a chicken with my head cut off today..like I usually do..lol. I will admit, I yelled at Dawson once today. But then apologized and he apologized for not listening.
All in all it has been a peaceful day so far...there is still 5.5 hours till the kids bed time..lol.
All in all it has been a peaceful day so far...there is still 5.5 hours till the kids bed time..lol.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
it's a start...
Okay, I have had a shower before 3 pm for 2 days in a row!!!! It was great. It really makes me feel like doing things after I showered. I didn't pray or read my scriptures though. I am really gonna try tomorrow.
I was watching Nanny Rescue (or whatever it is called on ABC). First off I could not believe how disrespectful those 4 yr old twins were. I don't know how their parent's didn't lose it with them!!! Especially when the told her mom to back off and called her a butt pie. I am old fashioned and that would have been grounds for a swat on the hynie! Then you feel so bad for that poor little boy! Always the scapegoat for the things that his sisters do. That made me so mad!! It made me realize that Dawson isn't as as I thought too.
Anyways, I really liked the corner. I have done time out and it didn't really work. Probably because I would never get on Dawson's level when I would take him there. Then I would keep talking to him and tell him to face the wall, etc. I like how they made the s apologize afterwards and the parent's said they loved them afterwards today. I tried the nanny's method today. It worked. dawson stayed in the corner, and I never had to raise my voice at all! I raising my voice at him, it makes me feel like a bad mommy.
Then I really liked how she wrote out a schedule for the family. I am such a dork, but I made a schedule today. I am really going to try to stick to it too. That means less computer, but I wanna see if it will help me feel more structured (I don't like structure, but being the procrastinator that I am, I need it). I am also hoping it will help the kids and help me to spend more time with them. There are many days when I don't. I am either cleaning or on the computer and I feel bad about that. I alloted spaces for me to shower, workout, do my scriptures and prayer, and cleaning. Then the whole evening will be to relax..I like that! I hope that it works!
I just have to say that that was my first time watching Nanny rescue, but I really liked it!
We'll I need to fish cleaning so I can watch Gilmore s! Good night all!
I was watching Nanny Rescue (or whatever it is called on ABC). First off I could not believe how disrespectful those 4 yr old twins were. I don't know how their parent's didn't lose it with them!!! Especially when the told her mom to back off and called her a butt pie. I am old fashioned and that would have been grounds for a swat on the hynie! Then you feel so bad for that poor little boy! Always the scapegoat for the things that his sisters do. That made me so mad!! It made me realize that Dawson isn't as as I thought too.
Anyways, I really liked the corner. I have done time out and it didn't really work. Probably because I would never get on Dawson's level when I would take him there. Then I would keep talking to him and tell him to face the wall, etc. I like how they made the s apologize afterwards and the parent's said they loved them afterwards today. I tried the nanny's method today. It worked. dawson stayed in the corner, and I never had to raise my voice at all! I raising my voice at him, it makes me feel like a bad mommy.
Then I really liked how she wrote out a schedule for the family. I am such a dork, but I made a schedule today. I am really going to try to stick to it too. That means less computer, but I wanna see if it will help me feel more structured (I don't like structure, but being the procrastinator that I am, I need it). I am also hoping it will help the kids and help me to spend more time with them. There are many days when I don't. I am either cleaning or on the computer and I feel bad about that. I alloted spaces for me to shower, workout, do my scriptures and prayer, and cleaning. Then the whole evening will be to relax..I like that! I hope that it works!
I just have to say that that was my first time watching Nanny rescue, but I really liked it!
We'll I need to fish cleaning so I can watch Gilmore s! Good night all!
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Looking forward to things......
I have had a thought running thru my head for days now. It all began with an overwhelming feeling of being burnt out. 'Burnt out from what?", you may ask. If you are a SAHM like myself you wouldn't even have to ask that question
I just feel that my days repeat themselves over and over again. Dawson wakes me up every morning. I get up, feed the kids, try to figure out how the house got messy between now and last night when I cleaned it.
Somedays, I get right into my housework and it seems like everything is in-sync, and I feel that I have control over the housework. I don't get y with the kids, nothing gets to me. I love those days. That might last a few days or a week, but then I am back to my other days.
Those days I wake up and feel burnout. Another day of housework, grumpy kids (and grumpy me!), a day with out order. I may wake up and the house is clean, but by noon, I feel like I have to deep clean the whole house again. I don't even want to do it, but I will. I clean the whole house. The whole time I am being interupted by one of my kids every 5 minutes. When I am finally finished, I know that I wasn't as thorough as I would like to be. Who has the time for that? I know there are still dirty clothes in the laundry room, or the clothes need to be put away. I just can't do anymore. I stop and still feel guilty. Finally, it is 8 o'clock p.m. and I can get out of my pajamas (I have had them on all day) and take a shower. Then I put on the clean pajamas that I will wear all day the next day.
How did I let myself get this way? I do it because I love my husband and my children. I wouldn't trade them for anything....BUT What about me? Do I even know who I am anymore?
I never had the perfect self image, but at one time I was pretty confident with myself. I worked on my hobbies such as sports, scrapbooking and singing among others. I could find time to curl up and read a good book (I miss those days). I took care of myself and loved to do my hair or get new clothes.
Fast forward to now. I have more pajamas and grubby clothes than I do normal clothes, My favorite hairstyle is pulling it up in a pony tail or just doing nothing to my hair at all. Yah I wear make up, but usually it is yesterdays leftover makeup. Gross I know, but sometimes I am too tired to wash it off at night. I have a lot of extra weight, I don't even look like me anymore.
Where is the balance? I need the balance between my DH and kids, household duties and time for myself. Sure I watch TV or play around on the internet, which I enjoy. What about the other things, like reading, singing or building on my spirituality? I have put all that on the back burner.
That is when I realized that I have to somehow find some time for myself. NOt on the computer or watching TV time, but actual quality time. I read somewhere that not finding time for yourself can cause depression and other problems. We all need to LOOK FORWARD TO THINGS . Even if it is small things.
I am going to start with Taking a shower every morning (Or atleast as much as I can). I always feel more in control when I do that. I am more awake and I feel like the day can start. I need to do one small thing a day. Make some jewelry..which I have been making more time for lately. Singing. One thing I absolutely have to do is Read my scriptures every day..even if it is a verse or two. I need to pray..even if I have to hideout in the bathroom with the door locked. I have to do those things. I need to find good books to read and small projects to do. I need to wake up feeling like I have something..even if it is small, to look forward to, I need to just stop and not worry about the daily problems for a few minutes a day.
My first 3 things to work on are Praying in the morning, reading atleast a few verses of my scriptures and taking a shower. I will then add on as those things become habit.
I challenge all of my internet SAHM friends to find just a few sall things to do for yourself every day!!!
I just feel that my days repeat themselves over and over again. Dawson wakes me up every morning. I get up, feed the kids, try to figure out how the house got messy between now and last night when I cleaned it.
Somedays, I get right into my housework and it seems like everything is in-sync, and I feel that I have control over the housework. I don't get y with the kids, nothing gets to me. I love those days. That might last a few days or a week, but then I am back to my other days.
Those days I wake up and feel burnout. Another day of housework, grumpy kids (and grumpy me!), a day with out order. I may wake up and the house is clean, but by noon, I feel like I have to deep clean the whole house again. I don't even want to do it, but I will. I clean the whole house. The whole time I am being interupted by one of my kids every 5 minutes. When I am finally finished, I know that I wasn't as thorough as I would like to be. Who has the time for that? I know there are still dirty clothes in the laundry room, or the clothes need to be put away. I just can't do anymore. I stop and still feel guilty. Finally, it is 8 o'clock p.m. and I can get out of my pajamas (I have had them on all day) and take a shower. Then I put on the clean pajamas that I will wear all day the next day.
How did I let myself get this way? I do it because I love my husband and my children. I wouldn't trade them for anything....BUT What about me? Do I even know who I am anymore?
I never had the perfect self image, but at one time I was pretty confident with myself. I worked on my hobbies such as sports, scrapbooking and singing among others. I could find time to curl up and read a good book (I miss those days). I took care of myself and loved to do my hair or get new clothes.
Fast forward to now. I have more pajamas and grubby clothes than I do normal clothes, My favorite hairstyle is pulling it up in a pony tail or just doing nothing to my hair at all. Yah I wear make up, but usually it is yesterdays leftover makeup. Gross I know, but sometimes I am too tired to wash it off at night. I have a lot of extra weight, I don't even look like me anymore.
Where is the balance? I need the balance between my DH and kids, household duties and time for myself. Sure I watch TV or play around on the internet, which I enjoy. What about the other things, like reading, singing or building on my spirituality? I have put all that on the back burner.
That is when I realized that I have to somehow find some time for myself. NOt on the computer or watching TV time, but actual quality time. I read somewhere that not finding time for yourself can cause depression and other problems. We all need to LOOK FORWARD TO THINGS . Even if it is small things.
I am going to start with Taking a shower every morning (Or atleast as much as I can). I always feel more in control when I do that. I am more awake and I feel like the day can start. I need to do one small thing a day. Make some jewelry..which I have been making more time for lately. Singing. One thing I absolutely have to do is Read my scriptures every day..even if it is a verse or two. I need to pray..even if I have to hideout in the bathroom with the door locked. I have to do those things. I need to find good books to read and small projects to do. I need to wake up feeling like I have something..even if it is small, to look forward to, I need to just stop and not worry about the daily problems for a few minutes a day.
My first 3 things to work on are Praying in the morning, reading atleast a few verses of my scriptures and taking a shower. I will then add on as those things become habit.
I challenge all of my internet SAHM friends to find just a few sall things to do for yourself every day!!!
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Holy Shnike!!!!
Week 3, I lost down 2.6 more lbs!!! My total loss for 3 weeks is: *drumroll*: 11 lbs!!!! I am 227.8 now!! 12 more lbs and I reach my 1st 10% goal!! Next month baby!! I will do measurements next week (scary!).
I can't believe how much difference I feel 11 lbs lighter. My clothes that cut into my tummy 3 weeks ago are comfy! I am so happy and amazed that I did this!!! There are 11lbs that I will never have again. The best feeling was calling Mike and telling him how much I lost! I love how supportive he has been!
I can't believe how much difference I feel 11 lbs lighter. My clothes that cut into my tummy 3 weeks ago are comfy! I am so happy and amazed that I did this!!! There are 11lbs that I will never have again. The best feeling was calling Mike and telling him how much I lost! I love how supportive he has been!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Some Happy Bloggings... My children's birth stories.
The Birth Of Dawson Michael Price
Dawson was born on 8/13/2001 @ 12:19 am
He weighed 6 lbs, 5 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long
The last trimester of my pregnancy was very slow, since I was on bed rest for most of it. It was a very special time though. I loved to feel Dawson move around. I especially loved when I could see my stomach move. Mike and I would spend lots of nights talking to Dawson and trying to make him move my stomach.
I knew for a few months that I would be having Dawson early because of my pressure problems. So I was so excited when I got the call to come down to the hospital to have my baby. I started crying a little. I came to the hospital scared of what to expect during delivery. I was very fortunante because I had a very easy and safe delivery. I had been dialated to 4cm for a few weeks (without going in to labor), so I had an advantage right there. Once they gave me the pitocin ( to put me into labor). I quickly got the epidural so I never felt too much pain. I just remember having the shakes a lot (which really scared me. I was very fortunate to have my mom, Tiffany Larsen and Lanae Udall in there with Mike and I during the labor (everyone but Mike and my Mom left during the delivery). All in all my labor was only about 5 to 5 ½ hours. And then We had our little Dawson. I was such an incredible feeling to see him. I remember crying and just feeling so peaceful. He came out with the biggest pouty face. He wasn't crying too much at first so that scared me a little. But he was just fine! It is amazing how much love you have for your child from the moment you lay eyes on them. He was so perfect. He had a headful of hair (which he later lost!) and big, big eyes. He is the most beautiful baby. After a few weeks mother hood was not scary (once I got the hang of it) It has been such a wonderful time in my life. I love Dawson so much. He is such a special person. We are very fortunate that he has been a really easy baby. He has slept through the nite (12 hours) since 2 ½ months, he hardly ever cries and when he does it's not for very long. He is always happy. He wakes up smiling. Where he inherited that I will never know. He is so much fun, always smiling and giggling. Everybody always comments on howcute, happy and good he is. I feel so lucky to have him as my son. I look forward to having many more children with Mike. Having Dawson has made my love multiply so much for Mike. I love him so much. He is truly my best friend.
Emmalee Monique Price's Birth Story
Emmalee was born on 3/10/2004 at 3:27 p.m.
She weighed 7 lbs, 9 oz and was 20 inches long
Emmalee is finally here!!! We are so happy to have her and feel that sweet spirit only a baby can bring to a home! Here is how she came to us:
On Thurs March 4th, I went to my weekly OB visit. I told him how I had been starting to see stars (or flashes of light) and my pressure was kinda high. I had the pressure problem with Dawson too, and so my doctor knew to watch me. With all those problems,He was really concerned. He told me to go back on bedrest that weekend. He said that he was going out of town in a few hours or else he would have put me on the induction list right then and there He made me go to the hospital and get a non stress test and work , to check for toxemia. He wanted to deliver my baby. So I went on bedrest and went in again on Monday. My BP was 163/90. It had been high at home too. So the first thing my doctor said when he cam in was "it's time for you to have this baby", (I was 38 weeks preggo). So he stripped my membranes (OUCH!), which never put me into labor, but it was worth a try. He prefered for me to have her that day, but I never went into labor. He also put me on the induction list and more BP medicine. Well, wednsday morning, March 10th at 5 am I got a call from the hospital to come down to get induced. We got there at 6:30 am. They gave me pitocin at 8:30. OH and i was already dialated to a 3 and 85% effaced. So I would go into labor fast w/ the pitocin, right? Wrong? I had contractions, but they hardly hurt. I wasn't in labor yet, grrr... At 1:30 Dr layton came and broke my water. I figured we would have a baby maybe by 6 that night. 20 minutes later I was ready for the epidural. I had to wait a little while until the DR came to give it to me. He tried forever to get it in, but couldn't get in the right spot. So I was in pain. Well, finally he got it in. The nurse checked me and I was at a 9 1/2. Whoa!!!! The epidural never kicked in. It took a little edge off, but I was still in pain big time. The pressure was so unbelievable. My doctor came, I pushed thru three contractioins and at 3:27 pm, On March 10th 2004, Emmalee Monique Price was born! 3 minutes shy of a 2 hour labor. Thank goodness it was short. because it was so painful. Emmalee weighed in at 7 lbs, 9 oz and was 20 inches long. She is so beautiful!!! I think she looks a lot like her Daddy! I am so loving having a boy and a !
*Oh a side note...right beofre I was to push, I told Mike that this was our last child. I was in that much pain. I absolutely meant it at the time. Ofcourse now I want 1 or 2 more. The things we say whiole we are in labor.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
A poem that I love
Okay, a friend gave me this poem the other day. IT really gives me some perspective. I need to slow down and enjoy my life and my kids and not always worry about everything.
Rock-a-bye Baby
(by Ruth Hulbert Hamiltonadapted by Wendy Lyn)
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrowFor babies grow up,we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, Dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
I love that poem. Except that it reminds me that my little Emmalee will be one in like 5 weeks. She is my baby, she's not allowed to grow..lol. And Dawson will be ion Kindergarten in 18 months. That makes me want to cry. It seems like he was just a baby yesterday. I adore my kids, they are my life! This poem makes me realize that I need to slow down and really enjoy this small window of time when they are little. I'm sure it will be gone befor eI know it.
Rock-a-bye Baby
(by Ruth Hulbert Hamiltonadapted by Wendy Lyn)
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrowFor babies grow up,we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, Dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
I love that poem. Except that it reminds me that my little Emmalee will be one in like 5 weeks. She is my baby, she's not allowed to grow..lol. And Dawson will be ion Kindergarten in 18 months. That makes me want to cry. It seems like he was just a baby yesterday. I adore my kids, they are my life! This poem makes me realize that I need to slow down and really enjoy this small window of time when they are little. I'm sure it will be gone befor eI know it.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Go back in time to the 90's....
I think that everyone struggles thru their teenage years. We all had our different struggles. I am going to write about some of mine. I am going to start back in Junior high.
It was 6:00 a.m. and time to get up. I hit the alarm and just lay in bed for a minute. Am I ready for another day? Not really, but do I have a choice? I get up and pick out my clothes for the day. I walk to the bathroom to take a shower. My mom comes out of her room and tells me to make sure I am ready for school in time to ride the bus. My dad has dialysis and my mom has to get to work early this morning, so no one can drive me to school.
I tell her I will. How can I tell my mom that I dread riding the bus? She will just say that I should be greatful to have a bus to ride to school. If she only knew why I h@ted it. If she knew why I would purposely make myself late for school so that she would have no choice but to drive me to school or why I would fake sick just to stay home.
I didn't like schooll. No it wasn't because of the schoolwork..although I really didn't apply myself when it came to school work. I never had confidence in that area. I was always to afraid to ask teachers questions when I didn't understand something. I was totally intimidated by my teachers or anyone who had any kind of authority over me. It was because of kids.
I had a few friends in junior high, but you could never call me popular. I didn't have the coolest clothes or nice hair and I wasn't very pretty. I have naturally curly hair, which in junior high I didn't know how to maintain. It was frizzy and shaped like a triangle or a mush room (had to make it 2 words because it won't let you write it as one word.. I guess it is bad?). Looking back I was a little funny looking. You know kids.....most don't think about how their words or actions affect people. I am going to sum up a typical day for me using events throughout junior high.
I am now walking to the bus stop which is behind my house. I am hoping that Stephen isn't going to ride the bus today. As I turn the corner to go to the bus stop (which is right behind my house) I see him. I feel my stomach start to churn. I get there and he sees me and says "Look it's Pat" (pat from saturday night live). I want to turn around and go home, but I can't. I would die before I tell my parent's I am an unpopular . So I stay. Suddenly Stephen starts throwing rocks at me. I tell him to stop, but then the other boys join in. One of them Tells me, "Patti, did you know that you are about the ugliest gir lin the world?"". I am thinking *YES*, but I say nothing. He then says "You will never have a boyfriend or get married because you are ugly". I so want to cry at this point, but I just hold it in. I just keep hoping the bus would get her. Not that the bus is any better, but it just means it is closer to the end of the day.
The bus finally gets there after what seems like an hour. We all line up and climb in. As I approach the bus driver, I hear it starting all over again. I see the looks and I see the kids sliding over so that I cannot sit down by them. I hear the heavy set kid with the light hair (I cannot remember her name) call out Hi Potty..I mean Patti! ". One of her friends says "Hi mush room head!". I just ignore them and find an empty seat. I just try to ignore them and act like it doesn't bother me, but I am crying inside. I try to figure out how many days are left untill the end of the year. It is only January so too many to count.
I have another reason to be nervous today. In my 2nd hour english class I have a debate on Gun Control. I am on the Con side, which I totally don't agree with, but hey it's a debate sometimes you don't have a choice which side you are on. I tried very hard to get facts to back my side, but it was hard since I didn't agree. I liked the idea of gun control. So I knew my side would be weak. To top it off I had to get up infront of my peers and talk. Alot of the kids in my english class didn't like me, so I wasn't looking forward to it.
I go to my homeroom class, which isn't too bad, afterall my best friend Mindy is in that class too. The hour seems to go by too fast. It is time for my debate in English class. *Maybe I can fake bad cramps and go to the nurse..no I have to do this to pass English*. The bell rings and it is time. I tell Mindy I will see her in 3rd hour P.E.
I get to my English class. I try to find my seat before Zach sees me. He was the only boy that actually liked me. A few weeks before he had his friend pass me a note it said "Patti, I like you. Will you go out with me? Which New Kids On The Block tapes do you have? I can get you what you don't have. Zach ". As nice as Zach was, I just didn't like him like that. I never replied. I was too afraid to say no, so I just ignored and avoided him...which looking back was a lot more mean than if I would have just said no to him to begin with. (Throughout my life I have had trouble telling people no, or how I feel). Phewwww!!!! I get to my seat and he hasn't arrived yet!
Mrs. Sant begins the debate. I am getting more and more nervous as each team goes up. Our team was last. I t was my turn. I get up there and I just want to puke. Everyone is looking at me. I see kids whispering and laughing as they look at me. I start my speech and the snickers and whispers continue. Right in the middle of my speech I hear Vince make a comment that hurt me bad. I finish and go to my seat. Class is dismissed.
As I walk out towards my P.E. class, Vince walked up to me and continued to make fun of me. He told me that I looked like I hadn't washed my hair in days and my clothes looked like they came out of the P.E. lost and found. *OUCH!*. He said that my speech was horrible. I don't remember what else he said, but infront of everone the tears just began to run down and I was sobbing. Mindy saw me and helped me get passed everybody. She told me not to listen to them and that I was a great person. We talk as we go to P.E. I am still embarrassed that the whole school just saw me cry, but atleast I have my best friend by my side.
(A few years later Vince was arrest and charged with another kid from my highschools mom in a Smitty's parking lot. He was trying to mug her. She started going histarical and he got nervous and shot her. I never liked Vince.).
The rest of the day was a blur and the bus ride home was just like the bus ride to school. I get home and the house is a mess. The kitchen is filthy. It was my little brothers turn to do the dishes last night, but he didn't do them. My brothers hardly put any effort into their chores. My mom worked full time and didn't have the time to clean between that and caring for my dad. my dad was sick with diabetes and kidney failure. So ofcourse I am left to clean the house. I really didn't have much time for homework between cleaning the house and helping take care of my dad. I would be his gopher and bring things to him. He was really sick so he needed a lot of help from us.
Along with being sick, my dad was grouchy. Something that only started since he got sick the last few years. He would complain about the house and tell us that the reason he was dying was because we stressed him out too much and we were noisy, etc. I don't like thinking about those times, but they happened. Even then I realized that my dad wasn't like that before he got sick..so it was the sickness talking.
After dinner, I would go hang out in my room most nights. My room was my sanctuary. I loved being in there. I would talk to Mindy on the phone, redecorate, or listen to music in there. It was a safe place for me.
I remember many nights when my dad was really sick or in the hospital (which was a lot) I would go in my room and cry, and pray. Everytime he went to the hospital I was scared that he wouldn't return home. It is so scary to be faced with you parent's mortality at 13.
It was 6:00 a.m. and time to get up. I hit the alarm and just lay in bed for a minute. Am I ready for another day? Not really, but do I have a choice? I get up and pick out my clothes for the day. I walk to the bathroom to take a shower. My mom comes out of her room and tells me to make sure I am ready for school in time to ride the bus. My dad has dialysis and my mom has to get to work early this morning, so no one can drive me to school.
I tell her I will. How can I tell my mom that I dread riding the bus? She will just say that I should be greatful to have a bus to ride to school. If she only knew why I h@ted it. If she knew why I would purposely make myself late for school so that she would have no choice but to drive me to school or why I would fake sick just to stay home.
I didn't like schooll. No it wasn't because of the schoolwork..although I really didn't apply myself when it came to school work. I never had confidence in that area. I was always to afraid to ask teachers questions when I didn't understand something. I was totally intimidated by my teachers or anyone who had any kind of authority over me. It was because of kids.
I had a few friends in junior high, but you could never call me popular. I didn't have the coolest clothes or nice hair and I wasn't very pretty. I have naturally curly hair, which in junior high I didn't know how to maintain. It was frizzy and shaped like a triangle or a mush room (had to make it 2 words because it won't let you write it as one word.. I guess it is bad?). Looking back I was a little funny looking. You know kids.....most don't think about how their words or actions affect people. I am going to sum up a typical day for me using events throughout junior high.
I am now walking to the bus stop which is behind my house. I am hoping that Stephen isn't going to ride the bus today. As I turn the corner to go to the bus stop (which is right behind my house) I see him. I feel my stomach start to churn. I get there and he sees me and says "Look it's Pat" (pat from saturday night live). I want to turn around and go home, but I can't. I would die before I tell my parent's I am an unpopular . So I stay. Suddenly Stephen starts throwing rocks at me. I tell him to stop, but then the other boys join in. One of them Tells me, "Patti, did you know that you are about the ugliest gir lin the world?"". I am thinking *YES*, but I say nothing. He then says "You will never have a boyfriend or get married because you are ugly". I so want to cry at this point, but I just hold it in. I just keep hoping the bus would get her. Not that the bus is any better, but it just means it is closer to the end of the day.
The bus finally gets there after what seems like an hour. We all line up and climb in. As I approach the bus driver, I hear it starting all over again. I see the looks and I see the kids sliding over so that I cannot sit down by them. I hear the heavy set kid with the light hair (I cannot remember her name) call out Hi Potty..I mean Patti! ". One of her friends says "Hi mush room head!". I just ignore them and find an empty seat. I just try to ignore them and act like it doesn't bother me, but I am crying inside. I try to figure out how many days are left untill the end of the year. It is only January so too many to count.
I have another reason to be nervous today. In my 2nd hour english class I have a debate on Gun Control. I am on the Con side, which I totally don't agree with, but hey it's a debate sometimes you don't have a choice which side you are on. I tried very hard to get facts to back my side, but it was hard since I didn't agree. I liked the idea of gun control. So I knew my side would be weak. To top it off I had to get up infront of my peers and talk. Alot of the kids in my english class didn't like me, so I wasn't looking forward to it.
I go to my homeroom class, which isn't too bad, afterall my best friend Mindy is in that class too. The hour seems to go by too fast. It is time for my debate in English class. *Maybe I can fake bad cramps and go to the nurse..no I have to do this to pass English*. The bell rings and it is time. I tell Mindy I will see her in 3rd hour P.E.
I get to my English class. I try to find my seat before Zach sees me. He was the only boy that actually liked me. A few weeks before he had his friend pass me a note it said "Patti, I like you. Will you go out with me? Which New Kids On The Block tapes do you have? I can get you what you don't have. Zach ". As nice as Zach was, I just didn't like him like that. I never replied. I was too afraid to say no, so I just ignored and avoided him...which looking back was a lot more mean than if I would have just said no to him to begin with. (Throughout my life I have had trouble telling people no, or how I feel). Phewwww!!!! I get to my seat and he hasn't arrived yet!
Mrs. Sant begins the debate. I am getting more and more nervous as each team goes up. Our team was last. I t was my turn. I get up there and I just want to puke. Everyone is looking at me. I see kids whispering and laughing as they look at me. I start my speech and the snickers and whispers continue. Right in the middle of my speech I hear Vince make a comment that hurt me bad. I finish and go to my seat. Class is dismissed.
As I walk out towards my P.E. class, Vince walked up to me and continued to make fun of me. He told me that I looked like I hadn't washed my hair in days and my clothes looked like they came out of the P.E. lost and found. *OUCH!*. He said that my speech was horrible. I don't remember what else he said, but infront of everone the tears just began to run down and I was sobbing. Mindy saw me and helped me get passed everybody. She told me not to listen to them and that I was a great person. We talk as we go to P.E. I am still embarrassed that the whole school just saw me cry, but atleast I have my best friend by my side.
(A few years later Vince was arrest and charged with another kid from my highschools mom in a Smitty's parking lot. He was trying to mug her. She started going histarical and he got nervous and shot her. I never liked Vince.).
The rest of the day was a blur and the bus ride home was just like the bus ride to school. I get home and the house is a mess. The kitchen is filthy. It was my little brothers turn to do the dishes last night, but he didn't do them. My brothers hardly put any effort into their chores. My mom worked full time and didn't have the time to clean between that and caring for my dad. my dad was sick with diabetes and kidney failure. So ofcourse I am left to clean the house. I really didn't have much time for homework between cleaning the house and helping take care of my dad. I would be his gopher and bring things to him. He was really sick so he needed a lot of help from us.
Along with being sick, my dad was grouchy. Something that only started since he got sick the last few years. He would complain about the house and tell us that the reason he was dying was because we stressed him out too much and we were noisy, etc. I don't like thinking about those times, but they happened. Even then I realized that my dad wasn't like that before he got sick..so it was the sickness talking.
After dinner, I would go hang out in my room most nights. My room was my sanctuary. I loved being in there. I would talk to Mindy on the phone, redecorate, or listen to music in there. It was a safe place for me.
I remember many nights when my dad was really sick or in the hospital (which was a lot) I would go in my room and cry, and pray. Everytime he went to the hospital I was scared that he wouldn't return home. It is so scary to be faced with you parent's mortality at 13.
The past....What is important
I am one that tends to think a lot about the past. I remember the happy times and the sad. I rewind the memories and try to figure out how events molded me with my stregnths and my weaknesses. I think of how "I coulda..woulda..shoulda...". Maybe I would be different in some ways. I think we all have those moments.
In the end I realize that regardless of my mistakes and my weaknesses, I am happy where I am now. I guess that is what matters most. I have a wonderful, hardworking and loving husband. He loves me even with my past mistakes and my weaknesses. He has taught me alot along the way. I also have 2 kids ( a boy and a ) that are such a joy to me. I look forward to a few more children to add to our little family. Maybe we don't have all the money in the world, new cars or a perfect house, but we have eachother. We are the only things in eachothers lives that will last forever. That is what matters.
In the end I realize that regardless of my mistakes and my weaknesses, I am happy where I am now. I guess that is what matters most. I have a wonderful, hardworking and loving husband. He loves me even with my past mistakes and my weaknesses. He has taught me alot along the way. I also have 2 kids ( a boy and a ) that are such a joy to me. I look forward to a few more children to add to our little family. Maybe we don't have all the money in the world, new cars or a perfect house, but we have eachother. We are the only things in eachothers lives that will last forever. That is what matters.
Friday, January 14, 2005
There's no turning back now!
That is the phrase I keep telling myself. I joined Weight Watchers on Wed Jan 12, 2005. I am motivated mentally now! There is no turning back. By this time next year I will be shopping in the Junior section!
Here are my stats, I will update them weekly:
My Weight Watchers Journal
Start Date: Wed January 12th , 2005
Week #1 (Jan 12-18)
Weight: 238.5
Goal Weight: Between: 124 pounds and 152 lbs (we will decide later)
I just want to be a size 8 or 10.
Measurments: (I will measure every 6 weeks!)
Waist: 47”
Chest: 50”
Hips: 54”
Arms: 15”
Thighs: 29”
Proposed Goal:
Waist: 29”
Chest 38”
Hips: 38”
Arms: 13”
Thighs: 20”-22”
So far so good with eating. Now I just need to get more rest to work out and lose faster!
I will work out 3 x/week with my firm workouts and go walking 2 more times a week. I want to lose my weight by Oct 2005.
My leader lost 100 lbs, that is an inspiration to me.!! I told myself when I went to my fist WW meeting that “there was no turning back now. I keep telling myself I can do it and I believe that!
There will be a new me this time next year! I am also working on improving my organization (that will make me happier) and other aspects that I feel lacking in (Like my self esteem).
Mike also told me that He knows that I am going to succeed this time!
Here are my stats, I will update them weekly:
My Weight Watchers Journal
Start Date: Wed January 12th , 2005
Week #1 (Jan 12-18)
Weight: 238.5
Goal Weight: Between: 124 pounds and 152 lbs (we will decide later)
I just want to be a size 8 or 10.
Measurments: (I will measure every 6 weeks!)
Waist: 47”
Chest: 50”
Hips: 54”
Arms: 15”
Thighs: 29”
Proposed Goal:
Waist: 29”
Chest 38”
Hips: 38”
Arms: 13”
Thighs: 20”-22”
So far so good with eating. Now I just need to get more rest to work out and lose faster!
I will work out 3 x/week with my firm workouts and go walking 2 more times a week. I want to lose my weight by Oct 2005.
My leader lost 100 lbs, that is an inspiration to me.!! I told myself when I went to my fist WW meeting that “there was no turning back now. I keep telling myself I can do it and I believe that!
There will be a new me this time next year! I am also working on improving my organization (that will make me happier) and other aspects that I feel lacking in (Like my self esteem).
Mike also told me that He knows that I am going to succeed this time!
Monday, January 03, 2005
Resolutions....
Okay it is 2005. I swore that for 2005 that I would lose my weight. So here I am binded by my promise to myself. Bummer. I love eating. It is so fun. Now it is time to be more careful. I started this morning. So far I have been pretty dang good. I had cereal for breakfast, pasta ( 1 cup) and salad for lunch and broiled london broil, wild rice and steamed broccoli for dinner. Dinner was very yummy. I made these strawberry yogurt and cool whip light cups w/ Nila wafers for my snacks for today. I noticed more where my bad habits are. I like to snack on food I make for the kids. I have to stop that. I also need to cut down on soda. I may drink diet soda, but it can still hinder my weight loss. So I drank a ton of water today and I only had 2 cans of caffeine free diet pepsi. I wasn't too hungry between meals either.
Exercise. That is my next step. My mom got me the Firm Box Set for my Bday. It came with the firm fanny lifter step, a exercise rotation calendar and 3 dvd. I have done it once. I would have done it more, but that whole week of Christmas I had the stomach flu on and off. Then the week after MIke was off and we had his parents and my mom and step dad there for a few days. I am ready to not have company for a while now = ).
Mike had today off (he came home early) so I didn't get it done today. But tomorrow it is a must!
I have posted a sheet of paper on the fridge, deep freezer and pantry door that says "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels". A friend gave me that qoute and I really like it. It stops me when I want chocolate or other good, bad stuff.
Our house is closing this week, yipee!!!! So I am signing up for Weight Watchers (WW). I tried doing it on my own online, but I didn't do so well. I know having to go in once a week to get weighed will help me. I was going to do LA Weightloss, but it is like $300 or more (depending on how much weight you need to lose) just to sign up. Then you pay like $30 or more a month for their bars or shakes. You have to buy them for their plan. So it is alot of money every month. WW is like $&0 to sign up and that also covers 6 weeks. Then it is $12/ per week after that-MUCH CHEAPER!!! Then if I decide to prepay, it can be even cheaper. So I may pay like $600 for the year it will take me to lose all my extra weight. But LA weightloss would probably be like $400 (or more ) to sign up and then $1560 (the $30/week). So it is way cheaper.
I know in my gut that this will motivate me! I also like meeting with other people who have the same goals as me. I need support. I also like that we can swap recipe ideas, etc.
I will post how my meeting goes!
Exercise. That is my next step. My mom got me the Firm Box Set for my Bday. It came with the firm fanny lifter step, a exercise rotation calendar and 3 dvd. I have done it once. I would have done it more, but that whole week of Christmas I had the stomach flu on and off. Then the week after MIke was off and we had his parents and my mom and step dad there for a few days. I am ready to not have company for a while now = ).
Mike had today off (he came home early) so I didn't get it done today. But tomorrow it is a must!
I have posted a sheet of paper on the fridge, deep freezer and pantry door that says "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels". A friend gave me that qoute and I really like it. It stops me when I want chocolate or other good, bad stuff.
Our house is closing this week, yipee!!!! So I am signing up for Weight Watchers (WW). I tried doing it on my own online, but I didn't do so well. I know having to go in once a week to get weighed will help me. I was going to do LA Weightloss, but it is like $300 or more (depending on how much weight you need to lose) just to sign up. Then you pay like $30 or more a month for their bars or shakes. You have to buy them for their plan. So it is alot of money every month. WW is like $&0 to sign up and that also covers 6 weeks. Then it is $12/ per week after that-MUCH CHEAPER!!! Then if I decide to prepay, it can be even cheaper. So I may pay like $600 for the year it will take me to lose all my extra weight. But LA weightloss would probably be like $400 (or more ) to sign up and then $1560 (the $30/week). So it is way cheaper.
I know in my gut that this will motivate me! I also like meeting with other people who have the same goals as me. I need support. I also like that we can swap recipe ideas, etc.
I will post how my meeting goes!
Thursday, December 16, 2004
I almost forgot................
My birthday is Tuesday. I am having my 3rd 25 birthday..lol...you do the math. Guess where DH is taking me for dinner???? The Compass Room at the Hyatt Regency in Phoenix! We could never afford it on our own. But my DH is an electrical Enginer.. he designs and estimates electrical and telecomunications systems. Well the guy that used to own the biggest share of his company (he sold his shares) had Mike do a side Job for him on his house. When Mike was finished he thanked Mike and said: I want to treat you and your wife to a very fancy restaurant. Go talk to your wife and I want you two to chose the fanciest restaurant that you can think of. So I have always wanted to go to the compass room. we had talked about going someday...maybe by our 10th wedding anniversary with our budget. It is so pretty. It is a circular restaurant at the top of the Hyatt that slowly spins. The meals cost between $35-$50 a person, that is just the main dish. Well he bought a gift certificate for us. I got it via DHL today. It was a certificate for $150!!!!! I couldn't believe it. Since DH and I don't drink that is enough to go there twice! I am so excited. We also got a giftcard to JcPenney for $100 from his boss. DH told me to take it and go find a new dress for our date! I am so excited!!! I clothes shopping right now, but for $100 I can find a tasteful dress, and maybe shoes or a purse to match! I jsut had to share!
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
It is time to Seize the Day!
I decided that creating a blog about trying to lose weight would be a constructive way to help myself with this hard challenge.
I haven't always been over weight, but I have always thought that I was over weight. In junior high I wasn't what one might call a popular kid. I was made fun of a lot...and I mean a lot. I remember one instance when a boy told me I was ugly and then he asked me if I thought that I was ugly. I answered "Yes". I pretty much looked like Olive Oil from popeye. I was a pale white, skinny little toothpick, with short, black, frizzy hair. My haircut gave my hair the shape of a mushroom . So Olive oil, toaster-head and many other names where used to tease me.
I remember I would dream that their would be a day that I would wake up with silky beautiful hair, no braces and I would just look beautiful. I did grow into my looks by 10th grade. Looking back by then I really was a pretty . So now that I was begining to look better you would think all my problems would be over right? Wrong! I began to obsess about my weight. OKay I was 5'6" and weighed 120 lbs and I had 34", 24", 34" measurements. I thought that I was fat. I was seeing all my friends who hadn't hit their growth spurt yet weighing 85- 100 lbs (all very small boned s) and I would compare myself to them. I had a very bad misconception of what I looked like.
So I began to skip breakfast hardly eat anything for lunch and have a normal dinner. I would do my 1 mile run 3 times a week in P.E., Then I would go rollerblading and do aerobics after school. I didn't do this every single day, but I did it most of the week. Then I would have a day where I would binge and then I felt like a fat pig.
That went on for a long time. Then I got in a car accident. I wasn't able to exercise for a while and got out of the habit. I had a lot of bouts of bad luck in those years after that. I turned to food for comfort. I ended up weighing 150 lbs. Not a bad weight, but I did look better even 10 lbs smaller. Then I was really depressed about it. The more depressed I got the more I ate and didn't try to do anything. When I did try it wasn't full effort. It was like I didn't believe that I could lose that weight. I still feel that way.
So the years went on. I got married. I gained about 10 lbs the first nine months due to birth control pills and just not caring so much. Then I got pregnant with our first child. At the end I ended up weighing 226 lbs. I tried for 2 years to lose weight.
I found success when I signed up with a personal trainer. I lost about 30 lbs in 3 months with him. I was feeling great. Then when my sessions ended, I got out of habit. I then gained 15 lbs back. Then when I wanted to try again, I got pregnant with our daughter. She was a suprise...a ver wonderful suprise I might add!!! I was pretty good with her and only gained 30 lbs or so. After I had her I made a few attempts to lose weight with not much luck. I am now 9 months postpartum and I still weigh 236 lbs. Very depressing.
I have to find another outlet besides food to help me through stress and anxiousness. I am hoping thru this blog I can more understand myself and what I need.
I am not fully dieting until the beginning of the year (only 2 more weeks). I will be sharing my experiences here on this blog.
I haven't always been over weight, but I have always thought that I was over weight. In junior high I wasn't what one might call a popular kid. I was made fun of a lot...and I mean a lot. I remember one instance when a boy told me I was ugly and then he asked me if I thought that I was ugly. I answered "Yes". I pretty much looked like Olive Oil from popeye. I was a pale white, skinny little toothpick, with short, black, frizzy hair. My haircut gave my hair the shape of a mushroom . So Olive oil, toaster-head and many other names where used to tease me.
I remember I would dream that their would be a day that I would wake up with silky beautiful hair, no braces and I would just look beautiful. I did grow into my looks by 10th grade. Looking back by then I really was a pretty . So now that I was begining to look better you would think all my problems would be over right? Wrong! I began to obsess about my weight. OKay I was 5'6" and weighed 120 lbs and I had 34", 24", 34" measurements. I thought that I was fat. I was seeing all my friends who hadn't hit their growth spurt yet weighing 85- 100 lbs (all very small boned s) and I would compare myself to them. I had a very bad misconception of what I looked like.
So I began to skip breakfast hardly eat anything for lunch and have a normal dinner. I would do my 1 mile run 3 times a week in P.E., Then I would go rollerblading and do aerobics after school. I didn't do this every single day, but I did it most of the week. Then I would have a day where I would binge and then I felt like a fat pig.
That went on for a long time. Then I got in a car accident. I wasn't able to exercise for a while and got out of the habit. I had a lot of bouts of bad luck in those years after that. I turned to food for comfort. I ended up weighing 150 lbs. Not a bad weight, but I did look better even 10 lbs smaller. Then I was really depressed about it. The more depressed I got the more I ate and didn't try to do anything. When I did try it wasn't full effort. It was like I didn't believe that I could lose that weight. I still feel that way.
So the years went on. I got married. I gained about 10 lbs the first nine months due to birth control pills and just not caring so much. Then I got pregnant with our first child. At the end I ended up weighing 226 lbs. I tried for 2 years to lose weight.
I found success when I signed up with a personal trainer. I lost about 30 lbs in 3 months with him. I was feeling great. Then when my sessions ended, I got out of habit. I then gained 15 lbs back. Then when I wanted to try again, I got pregnant with our daughter. She was a suprise...a ver wonderful suprise I might add!!! I was pretty good with her and only gained 30 lbs or so. After I had her I made a few attempts to lose weight with not much luck. I am now 9 months postpartum and I still weigh 236 lbs. Very depressing.
I have to find another outlet besides food to help me through stress and anxiousness. I am hoping thru this blog I can more understand myself and what I need.
I am not fully dieting until the beginning of the year (only 2 more weeks). I will be sharing my experiences here on this blog.
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My Weight Loss
